Strong Is The New Beautiful

I find that the word ‘fat’ is being used loosely these days.

I’ve heard people complaining that they’re fat when in actual fact, they’re skinny with a flat stomach, skinny arms and skinny legs, and actually have a thigh gap.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean not having thigh gaps and protruding collar bones means you’re fat. I don’t believe in that. In fact, I don’t even know why it has become a “must” or “need” to have them. I know someone who recently lost a lot of weight and her mother and I told her not to lose any more weight as she is now in the healthy range. Her answer shocked me. She said that she felt the need to lose more weight as she feels that her collar bone isn’t obvious to be seen.

It is just sad that more girls are having this idea that without so and so, they have this notion that they are fat, and some will use extreme measures to lose weight, ending up hurting their health.

I’m just really puzzled and annoyed by people who tell me that they’re fat when they’re so skinny and more importantly, underweight! They can post skimpy pictures of themselves in bikinis and so many people will comment things like ‘Oh you’re body is so hot/amazing’, ‘bodygoals’, ‘you look so hot/sexy’, blah blah blah…So what give such people the idea that they’re fat? I don’t understand. I feel that it is not right to have such a mentality. Shahrul said,’If they’re fat, then what am I?’ Fyi, Shahrul is a big bear, but of course a cuddly one. When people who are really bigger in size, hears that, they might feel hurt and upset. This whole ‘I’m fat’ thing is very insensitive to say when you’re clearly not fat.

I feel that no matter what size a person is, it doesn’t matter. What’s more important is you have inner beauty. You may be good looking, but if your character stinks, it’s not attractive. For example, a good looking person who abuses his/her partner.

Personally, I felt unfit for years. Before my operations, I barely exercised at all. But what really motivated me to start working out were my health and my mother.

My mother suffers from a chronic medical condition called fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia-related pain is pain that causes you to ache all over. You may have painful “trigger points,” places on your body that hurt no matter what medication you take. Your muscles may feel like they have been overworked or pulled even though you haven’t exercised. Sometimes, your muscles will twitch. Other times they will burn or ache with deep stabbing pain. Some patients with fibromyalgia have pain and achiness around the joints in their neck, shoulders, back, and hips.

My mother was in so much pain that she couldn’t even get out of bed. She suffered even more when she was seeking treatment. I remember going with her to see the specialist. She had to get injections injected into her tissues. It gets so bad that sometimes she had to be wheeled out and had to rest for a few hours before being able to walk.

While recovering, she started going for short walks at the park near our old house. Then it was short jogs. Slowly slowly, she began to do longer runs. And last year, she did her first triathlon! Her wish now is to compete in seven marathons in seven different continents!

It was when my mum started training for her triathlon that I started getting serious with my exercise. I’m not at the stage where I’m confident enough to do a 10km run, what more a marathon or a triathlon, but I try to push myself just a little more each time I exercise.

I’m the type of person who gets bored easily when exercising so I make sure to do different types of workouts. Sometimes I run/trek at MacRitchie, run at bishan park (if I don’t feel like running, I will bring Snowy there for a walk), or cycling with Tara (minimum is 2 hours, our goal is to cycle from East Coast Park to Pasir Ris). But at least once a week Shahrul and I will head to the gym and I will do tabata or HIIT workouts.

I exercise at least three times a week. But there was a period two years back, where I was exercising everyday and not eating much.I was at my lowest point then after going through a break up and being publicly bullied by peers. I felt that I wasn’t able to control what was happening around me and felt that my weight was the only thing I can control.

I lost so much weight and was at an unhealthy BMI level. The doctor had to intervene and told me that I was close to being anorexic. It was a wake up call for me but getting back to a healthy diet and healthy exercising was not and is still not easy.

Exercising makes me feel good physically and mentally. I feel more confident with my body. Of course, there are still days where I wish I can change certain parts of my body, but I am more accepting of my body type now. My body is now more toned and has more strength. Mentally, I feel good as well. I haven’t felt this good in a long time. Suffering from depression really saps the energy out of you and for a long time, I thought that I would never feel good enough or smile again.

I really hope that us girls can learn to be more confident and appreciative of our bodies. Learn to love what you have. Doesn’t matter whether you’re plus sized or not, you are still beautiful no matter what people say. Do what makes you feel good and confident. I’m doing just that. I don’t want to be skinny. Honestly. I exercise for my health and to be stronger, physically and mentally. Do what makes you happy, and don’t torture yourselves over meaningless features like thigh gaps and so on. Health is more important and it’s not worth sacrificing for such trivial things.

Ending this post with a quote….

‘Girls compete with each other. Women EMPOWER one another’

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