Thoughts…

Well, I’m officially not a teenager! *sob sob* Good bye to teenagedom 😭😭Can’t I just stay 18 forever? I love 18 by the way.

Can’t believe it’s been a year! Oh gosh! Times flies really fast! I would be lying if I said 19 was a great year. It was shitty and full of drama! First mum was hospitalised the day before I turned 19. That very same day, I went through a break up. Over the past year, I had to deal with more drama. Disappointing friendships and then having to deal with being confronted by my classmates in a public area. Hmmm guess those people lack of a sensitive chip. Then having to deal with teachers whom, to put it mildly, are not the most helpful. Leaving that shitty school and having to go through months of counselling after that.

Yup, all these happened within a year. And I’m still alive! Haha! But honestly, if I had to go back in time, I wouldn’t change anything. I learnt who I can trust and who I can’t. I’ve learnt that there will always be heartless people in the world. Be it in school or at a work place. I don’t regret changing school. I’ve been asked that question and really I don’t regret my decision at all. I’m a much happier person. I don’t have to see their faces. I don’t have to dread going to school every morning for fear that I’ll be confronted again. I don’t have to worry about not being able to hold my tears during classes anymore. But through all these drama, I’ve learnt to toughen up and to stand up for myself.

So 19 was a year when I experienced heartaches and betrayals. It taught me to treasure my loved ones. Especially my mum. When she collapsed a year ago, I thought I was going to lose her. I realised that at times, I take my Mummy for granted. My birthday wish at that time was that she would get well and be happy again. I don’t have a religion but seeing mum being carried into the ambulance, made me pray for the first time. I prayed that whoever is up there, would save my mum and not let her leave us. I prayed that I would be able to hear her voice again. Well, she’s fine now. Ha! I think better than fine!

I have to admit, I was a little on edge when I turned 20. I was worried that there was going to be more drama like last year. Nope, I was wrong. I spent the day with Mum. In the evening, Mark and Tara joined us for dinner at NUSS Guild House. I’m really glad that I spent that day with them.

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Nobody’s perfect, I know that. Oh gosh! It sounds like the stupid Hannah Montana song haha! A year older and hopefully a little wiser. I’ll still make mistakes but I hope to learn from them and become a strong independent woman like my mum one day.

Thank you to those who made turning 20 a memorable one, by replacing the bad memories from last year, with the good ones this year.

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